Narrated by Ivan.
I laid there getting probed and examined for the billionth time. This time it was definitely different. Everything in my body hurt. I could barely stand for the doctor to take my pulse because it hurt so bad.
I managed to get in a chair and to my dismay the doctor said, "Ivan I think its time for you to think about hospice care."
"So this is it? No more hope of anything else?"
"I'm afraid not. The cancer that started in your liver has progressed. The chemo only stopped it a little bit but now there is no stopping its natural course. Have you talked to your family?"
"Yes...but its not the same saying 'im sick' than ' guess what its time'"
"I understand but I need you to really get everything in order"
"The dreaded question doc... how much time?"
"Four maybe five months if were lucky"
I stared at the doctor. Five months if I am lucky huh? Well it was time for me to get everything together.
I had resigned from my job a few weeks ago. The agony of getting out of bed was too much. Now weeks after my terminal diagnosis, I decided to finally enter hospice care. I could no longer take care of myself and I did not want to be a burden to no one.
******
Narrated by Rodrigo
My brother called me and told me that he was in hospice care and that it was nearing his time. I was so upset because he did it without consulting me. Ivan and I are best friends. I am losing my best friend and I do not know how to handle it. I am grateful that I am finally at the point where I dont cry everytime I see him. Ivan tells me that its OK but when I look at him ...its not.
He lost his hair, he's getting so thin. He told me that it was time to call everyone in because he was near the end.
The last few days I visited him he was semi conscious. I told him that I loved him and I did not want to let him go. He told me that he loved me too but he was in too much pain to stay. The last day I saw him alive I hugged him and he was crying of agony and pain.
My family came...only the adults to say goodbye. Ivan did not want his nieces and nephews to see him this way. Ivan died in front of us. I could not handle it and had to leave the room. If it weren't for Cole I think I would have died right with Ivan that day. Beatrix and Madeline were in consolable. My other brothers and sister were distraught but its not the same for a quad sibling. We were in the same womb together and we were more intimate. I am happy to know that he is no longer suffering. I don't know how I will continue without my brother.
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